Looking back

Something possessed me today as I was cleaning my message inbox in dA like every other day and started to look at my older work.
I already wrote a journal in dA about it, but I thought I could expand on it a bit here.

Looking at my old art not only makes me see all the mistakes I made on each piece (I’ve gotten better at spotting mistakes, which is good!), but it also reminds me of the attitude I had back when I posted each piece.
I’ve already mentioned I’ve been humbled during the last couple of years, as I’v become more conscious about my own “place” in the world, so to speak.
It also seems to me I needed a lot more… hmm… reaffirmation back then? I needed the praise badly. I was used to it, I craved it and honestly I didn’t do much to deserve it?
As I was going through my gallery, I saw many pictures in the “Main” gallery that I didn’t spend more than an hour or so doing! Wow… What was I expecting?
I feel I’m a very different person now from who I was back then.
I like being praised, but I don’t *need* it badly like I used to. I also bear a lot more pride in my work than I used to, and I certainly want to do my best on everything I do, so every time I get praise for something I do, it’s deserved, instead of getting praise for anything I do because… idk, fans or something? I want to be proud and deserve every little compliment I get.
Also I’d rather have a couple of people that I’m sort of familiar with honestly telling me they appreciate what I do than a bunch of people I don’t know praising me and giving me views and favs and stuff.
I’m also very open to critique now, something I wasn’t before (I thought I was, but I really wasn’t), and I take everything I’m told into consideration to keep improving (you can’t go and fix everything you do, you have to keep moving on and do better and better every time, if possible!).

I like being who i am right now, and I don’t like who I was before. The old “art” reminds me of that mindset and it disgust me.
I scrapped most of my old art and put into storage a lot of other art on dA. I also disabled comments on old art because there’s no real point in them anymore; I already leaned enough from my old pieces, I think, and I rather focus on my newest projects and experiments; as for random compliment comments, again, I’d rather get them in my newer stuff I’ve put more thought an love into.

So… Looking back, I think I’ve improved a lot, as an artist and as a person.

And I plan to keep improving every day of my life!
I’m not even close to be what I want to be, so I need to keep moving forward ;)

In other news, my tablet died ;v;
Good thing I’m working on TPF watercolors now >>;
I’ll bet a lent one on Monday, probably, and I’ll be saving for a better one in the meantime, if I can (man, spending all your money on living is tough x’D; I miss it when I could spend it on whatever I wanted xD)

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This entry was posted on Saturday, November 10th, 2012 at 2:21 pm and is filed under General Talk, Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.